I was in a coffee shop.
I was enjoying my cappuccino and i was starring at a couple close to me.
I was studying them deeply ... but deep inside me i was wondering if i do it with envy.
It was looking like a scene of life ... revealing me duality into its absolute form.
You see .... I've read so much philosophy and spirituality .... till one day when I've understood that i am incapable of understanding anything at all.
I was with my friend Paul in there ... so i've began to talk to him about what i see in front of my eyes.
But ... he just started to laugh ... replying ... "Blablabla".
And ... indeed i was in love of starring at those scenes of ... love.
I even had an addiction for that.
My friend Paul ...had enough of hearing those theories about duality... and realising i am actually hopeless ... just laugh of me.
Continuously... making fun of all what i was saying about love.
But ... you see ... deep inside myself ... i did not really cared of those philosophical theories ... but i was chasing for my own soul ... such a love story.
I simple wanted to be into the place of that guy ... and enjoy that scenario.
Cause ... yes .... I had an addiction for living duality into its absolute form.
Unfortunately ... i was balancing between what the heart and my mind were telling me.
One was saying ... i want to enjoy life in the company of a beautiful lady, but my philosophical side was keep repeating myself all the time ... "Stop doing it, cause it's an illusion. All related to duality it's an illusion..."
But ... all became for myself ... a psychological game ... allowing and forbidding to myself... dream about experiencing such a love story.
Today ... i somehow believe i need a woman with a huge psychological background ... that can really understand and accept my stupid behaviour.
Cause ... in reality .... I was writing books with love essays ... but on the scene of a relationship .... I was keep repeating ... "Let's not forget ... it's all an illusion ...".
Download the book ”Mr & Mrs FREUD
in love ... but still playing psychological games -
philosophical essays” written by the romanian essayist Adrian Dumitru for FREE.
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